What? What is this?

I'm not one of those people who believes that change occurs only within. I don't think that you are the only one who can change you. I think change comes from God and from what He does in your life. It comes from the people in your life, it comes from what you want to see in yourself, and it comes from the lessons you learn. I personally believe that all of these things stem from God and His love for us.

Life itself is a cycle of change; every breath you take can alter you. For example, breathing hurts for me right now because I got tackled countless times last night, and yet the pain is somehow teaching me something. As I sit here, shivering and aching, I can sense something moving me. I know that something is God; it always is.

Often, I am faced with questions that I never thought I would be able to answer. Those questions are always in reference to Africa. Always. Those questions are both the hardest and easiest questions for me to answer. Why? Because my answers affect people. I can see it in their eyes. As much as I don't want to have to explain these things to people, I have seen lives changed by it already, and I'm not even in Africa yet.

I am going to post the most frequently asked questions on here. I will answer each one.

 - Why Chad?
God. That is the only reason. He said, "Go to Chad." And boom. The location came first for me, so that I could get used to the fact that I wouldn't live a comfortable little life in America. The rest followed shortly after. What's funny is that little hints of my Calling have popped up my entire life, and I just never noticed.

 - What little hints of Chad popped up?
Well, I used to watch the Lizzy McGuire show a ton and one episode featured a project on countries. Lizzy had a crush on a guy named Chad, and she was assigned Chad as her country. I remember laughing about this for a good ten minutes and then I was in denial that Chad was an actual country, so I looked it up. This is the main hint that I remember. It seemed like such a small thing at the time. I honestly don't know how I can remember this, considering my memory is usually so sketchy. But there it is. I don't believe in coincidences.

 - What are you going to do in Chad?
The question should probably be, "What aren't you going to do in Chad?" My friend Michelle called me "ambitiously caring" once, and I guess that is the best way to describe what I'm doing. I plan on helping anyone who needs it. Adult or child, healthy or sick, old or young, I will be there. The main thing I know that I am going to do is take in orphans. I will probably wind up with a dozen children to call my own. But I want to be one of those people who will do anything for anyone. No limits.

 - What is this I hear about a US Embassy?
Yes, there is a US Embassy in N'Djamena, the city I am going to live in. I really want to work there. I don't know why, but I do. God is probably thinking of some way to use that for His glory. I wouldn't be surprised. But we'll just see what happens. If He wants me to be an embassy worker and a missionary, that is exactly what I will do.

 - Isn't Chad kind of dangerous?
Yep. It sure is. It's having some big problems with Sudan at the moment, and the UN is planning to withdraw MINURCAT, which is the main organization keeping Chad afloat. It's not looking good right now.

 - Aren't you scared since it's so dangerous?
The danger doesn't scare me. The only thing they could do to me is kill me. I'm not afraid of that.

 - You're seriously not afraid of a bunch of Africans with weapons?
Nope. I can honestly say that. God is sending me there for a reason. If I die there, so be it. I never thought I'd live a long life anyways.

 - What if you're raped or something?
Then I'm raped. Dwelling on "what if" isn't going to help anything. What if the ceiling of my house comes down right now and kills me? Thinking of what could happen only prevents life from being lived to the fullest and for God's glory.

 - So if someone comes up to and points a gun at your head and says, "Do you believe in God?", what will you say? (For the record, this question has been asked four times. My answer never changes.)
Yes. Absolutely yes. If the last thing I hear is a gunshot, so be it.

 - When did you know you were going to be a missionary?
My conscious knowledge happened shortly before I was baptized. But I've known in the back of my head my entire life, even before I allowed myself to believe in God.

 - What if everything doesn't go according to plan?
Since when does anything go according to my own plan? Hahaha technically, everything and nothing goes according to plan. Everything in regards to God's plan, nothing in regards to my own.

 - If you're not afraid of death, what are you afraid of?
Disappointing God and those I will be attempting to help. The worst thing that could happen to me is that I could fail in my mission. But I think of it like this: if I was going to fail, why would God call me to do something like this?

 - What are you doing to prepare for this?
There is no real preparation. Not mentally, not physically. The only thing you can do is go in there with the knowledge that God is right there with you. This goes for anything.

 (This next one comes from every member of my family.)
 - There is still time for you to change your mind. What is your backup plan?
I will not change my mind. I have no power over this. My mind can't be changed. It is all up to God.


So yeah. Those are my FAQ's. If you have any others, just ask :)

I have changed. I am changing. So are you. Keep your eyes open, and you never know what you'll see. Keep your heart open, and you never know what you'll feel. Keep your spirit open, and you never know what you'll do or what you'll experience. Let God move you, and you never know where you'll go.