Oh, I'm unpatriotic? Think again.

I am sick of people claiming that I hate America because I'm going to Africa. I am sick of people saying that I am unpatriotic and that I am a traitor. I am sick of people saying that I am ungrateful for America.

None. Of. This. Is. True.

I wake up in the morning and go to school and say the Pledge of Allegiance just like every other kid in America. I know the words to America, the Beautiful by heart. I can sing about America in four different languages. I am interested in the workings of America just as much as I am interested in the workings of Chad. Going to Africa doesn't automatically mean that I hate America.

I love America. I love the freedoms I've received both as a child and as a woman. I love the educational opportunities I have received. I love how I can sit here and criticize the government just as I would criticize the Church and still love it. I love how I can go out and buy a Bible and not be killed for it. I love how I can bring books about Africa to school and not have it ripped from my hands. I love America.

In regards to America, I love it, but I am disappointed in it. Just like so many others I know. This is not because I am going to Africa. It's because I think that America has so much more potential. I am grateful for America. Just because I am leaving doesn't mean that I hate where I grew up.

Yes, I have Chad's flag in my bedroom, but I also have a model of Washington DC sitting on my dresser. Yes, I have books about Africa on my bookcase, but I also have books about America on my bookcase. Yes, I am going to move to Chad, but I am taking pieces of America with me inside my heart.

Why else would I want to work in the US Embassy in N'Djamena along with being a missionary if I didn't believe in what I'd be representing? Why else would I allow myself to be irate or proud over the things I witness in America if I didn't care? Why would I even bother? Well, I wouldn't.


But I do. Because I love America. I am disappointed in it sometimes, but I am also disappointed in Chad sometimes. "There can be no deep disappointment where there is not deep love." ("Letter from a Birmingham Jail", Martin Luther King Jr.)

That quote expresses my feelings toward the Church, but it also expresses my feelings toward both Chad and America. I usually try to keep my politics and my Faith separate, but that quote, for me, fits in with both.

So no, I am not unpatriotic. No, I don't hate America. No, I'm not ungrateful for where I grew up. No, I am not a traitor. I am just going where God sends me.

Believe it or not, it is going to be very hard for me to leave America. But I am just listening to God. So, please, do not accuse me of being unpatriotic. People criticize the government over the TV, over radio, etc. What makes me any different? Because I'm leaving? I love America, and that is why I may criticize it. I was given the right to express these feelings through the Constitution. You may not agree with what I say, but you must agree that I have a right to say it. America gave me these rights. Don't get mad at me for using them.

I love Chad. I really do. But I love America just as much. Leaving is going to be one of the hardest things I ever do.

Missionaries don't leave because they hate their country. The leave because they love God more than anything. My love for God surpasses my love for America by a TON. You may not like it, but there it is. I love America, but I love God more.

So if you think that being patriotic means that you can't love anything more than your country, then fine. I'm unpatriotic. I will not put my country above God. I will not.

This is my little rant for the day. Sorry if I sound angry, but that's because I am. Debate with me if you want. I will not place America over God. Period.