I don't believe that I deserve to be a Follower of Christ. I do not believe that I deserve the Faith that I've been building inside of me because so many live their lives without acknowledging God, whereas I get to sit here and praise God. I do not believe that I deserve to have my prayers answered. I do not believe that I deserve to be one of God's children. I do not believe that I deserve my Calling.
But here I am. The very thought of my salvation both baffles me and tickles me to death. Seriously, I have giggled with giddiness over my salvation. Yes, I know that I am odd.
I get to know God. How cool is that???? I mean, I could still be agnostic right now. Heck, I could be atheist or scientologist or...social Darwinist. I don't know, I'm just listing random things at this point. But I am a Follower of Christ. That is so ridiculously cool to me.
I am a being of light and a being of sin. The light was placed inside me, the jar of clay, by God's grace. The sin was bestowed by Satan against my will. Now, I don't see God and Satan as light and darkness. God is still light, obviously, but I see Satan as more of a mist. He creeps silently and blurs the light, sending droplets into your eyes that make you blink away from the light that you usually cling to. He makes it to where the only way you can see is if you A - use more light or B- continue blindly on his path, seeing only a small distance in front of you, oblivious to the greater world around you. You stay within your realm of vision and begin to shun the light from above because it glints against the water in the atmosphere and makes you avert your gaze from the thing you need most: light.
Metaphor overload. But anyways, saying that Satan is darkness gives one the illusion that complete darkness is possible and it's possible for light to be completely absent from one's life.
This. Is. A. Lie. God's light can't be eclipsed. Period. Satan does not have enough power to be darkness. The only power he receives is the power we allow him to use. Yes, God and Satan are two extremes. One is the ultimate being of grace, the other is the ultimate being of sin. But. What one equals in goodness completely overshadows what the other equals in evilness.
The Math of this:
God + Grace + Love = Life, Light, and Salvation.
Satan + Sin + Disdain = A life lived through death.
God + Satan = The battle for your soul. God wants you through love. Satan wants you through hate.
Satan + you = The worst choice you ever make and an eternity of being swathed in the mist.
God + you = The greatest thing you can or will ever do. Guaranteed, no matter how screwed up you think you are.
God > Satan. God is infinitely greater than Satan. No number can measure this. Not even infinity itself.
Now, being the nerd that I am, I could write you a proof for how salvation is the greatest thing EVER, but salvation is personal. I will not do this.
We are all merely jars of clay. But, what makes us great is the light inside of us. Not the colors Satan may paint our jars to make it seem like we belong to him. This is going to sound odd, but I consider salvation an explosion. Salvation is when the light inside of you builds up so much, the lid of your jar can no longer remain closed. The light given to you by God is not yours, and salvation is God's way of getting His light back, only taking you with it.
My salvation saved me in every way that someone can be saved. Satan had painted my jar so many colors, I could not even recognize myself. But when my salvation came, the light inside me burst forth, and my jar shed its colors.
Now, salvation is not lack of sin because honestly, everybody in the world is too messed up to be completely free of sin (That's another thing that makes Jesus so awesome, since He is not like this). Salvation is God not only removing those colors, but taking away the mist. There are moments where the mist will try to creep back in, and Satan will ready his paintbrush, but salvation marks us. We were marked before as God's children, but salvation shows that we recognize that we are God's children.
Sometimes, I wake up in the morning (Sorry, Ke$ha. Not like P-Diddy), and I think that it was all a dream. That the wonderful lessons I learned, the resounding truth I acknowledged, and the Calling I received were all just a figment of my imagination.
Well, the beauty of God is that God is too good to be true, but He's so great, He's true anyways. No limits, God. No limits.
I am not good enough to be Saved. But that light in me overtakes that fact. God shakes up what is fact and what is fiction, what is truth and what is a lie, and puts His glory above all of it. God is above all of that. So yes, I am not good enough to have received my salvation, but I did anyways, because God is just that amazing.
I am overjoyed and overwhelmed by this. I am Saved. I am a Follower of Christ. Just saying it puts butterflies in my stomach. It's the beauty of disbelief. Not disbelief of God, but disbelief that He would actually want me as a Follower.
And it's the same for each and every one of you.
We're all messed up and stupid and stubborn, and yet, God wants us. It's too good to be true, but it's still true anyways. "God is so good. God is so good. God is so good. He's so good to me!"
I know that this post is a very metaphor heavy post, so if you want me to go into further detail on anything or you have any questions, don't hesitate to comment or e-mail me. If you just need someone to talk to, e-mail me. (Or pray to God, obviously. Haha) If you need anything, anything at all, I'm here. I mean that. No judgement here. My e-mail is janie_sanford0902@yahoo.com. I'm always here to listen, or to teach, or to be a friend.
God loves you. God wants you to receive your salvation. God is always there for you, even if sometimes, it's hard to remember that.
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